Vendredi 27 janvier 2017 à 15:27

Paris ! Paris !
J'ai marché au hasard, un peu fatiguée, un peu triste, le cœur n'y était pas. Je ne veux pas rentrer à Berlin, je suis bien, là. Oh, ce n'est pas que je t'aime, Paris. Je n'ai pour toi rien d'autre que l'affection éphémère. Tu ne pèses pas dans la balance, Paris. Tu es simplement ma dernière halte avant le retour. Ce retour dont je ne veux rien. Berlin ne m'appelle plus, ne m'aimante plus, nous nous sommes perdues. Évidemment, je l'ai aimée. Mon amour de Berlin, c'est une boite d'allumettes. Je les ai regardées flamber les unes après les autres, des mois durant, fascinée. Un jour, il n'y a plus eu d'allumettes dans mon paquet. J'ai été longtemps persuadée que j'allais en trouver de nouvelles. Mais il a fallu que j'admette que non. J'avais eu ma passion et désormais il n'y aurait plus de cet enthousiasme là. Je vis donc à Berlin sans flamme. Ce n'est pas un drame. Je sais. A travers les jours j'entends mes allumettes craquées gigoter dans le fond de ma poche. Parfois, l'espoir flou, je cherche dans mon paquet une allumette neuve, qui se serait cachée tout ce temps. En vain, bien sûr. Certains soirs, l'étincelle d'une cave de nuit m'éblouit, je me dis que c'est le retour de l'amour, j'y crois le temps de la danse; mais au matin toi même tu sais. J'ai aimé Berlin, Paris, ne me fais pas dire ce que je n'ai pas dit. J'ai aimé Berlin et je n'oublierai pas cet amour. Mais là, fatiguée, je cherche la sortie de secours.
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